de profundis ad valorem

April, the Kindest Month

2011-03-26T19:37:00.000+01:00

2011 has been a year of mostly Mondays. Maybe something to do with the moon's closest hovering in decades... or simply a convergence of obstacles to test my endurance. Regardless, April promises a new mentor in my life, a second daughter. My little Zoe will be a big sister to.. baby Chloe.

On the poetic front, I'll be reading at the U.S. Embassy's American Center here in Prague, along with legendary Czech underground writer/musician/artist Pavel Zajíček and the notorious American fiction writer Brad Vice, to celebrate the release of a new Czech-English anthology (with a theme akin to 'self-exile') recently compiled and translated by poet-professors Matthew Sweney and Bob Hýsek.

Small Towns and Bombs

2011-02-12T21:48:00.001+01:00

What is it with small towns having so many bomb threats? I recall that as a teenager in north Georgia (the US state) the nearby towns would have them, and they were typically traced back to prank callers.

After attending Cirque de Glace today in Prague, which turned out to be a bit of a bomb but at least my daughter loved it (I would've preferred Cirque Erotique a la Plage), we headed home a different way to avoid the traffic that we were stuck in for far too long on the way to the event, and we ended up in the Czech town of Melnik, where we had dinner at a pizzeria and then stopped by TESCO (like a British Wal-Mart chain) on our way home.

We'd been there about 10 minutes when employees and a couple police officers began guiding everyone to the front, along with the news that there'd been a bomb threat.

In the US, a message like this would have sent shoppers running in a panic... but not here in old Bohemia -- no, Czechs being the infamous skeptics that they are, people just looked pissed off and slowly trudged along toward the front, many even stopping to buy smokes on the way out. I too doubted the reality of the threat, but I quickly got my daughter outside (just in case).

Afterward, I sent an sms to a friend who lives not far from there and mentioned sarcastically that "Melnik seems to be a hotbed of Muslim activity" (actually, probably the only extremist group anywhere near there would be Czech neo-Nazis), to which he reminded me that Czechs did invent Semtex.

2010 in Literary Terms

2011-01-01T15:12:00.000+01:00

In terms of English-language literary endeavors in Prague, 2010 was a flourishing year, seeing multiple launches and events surrounding:

GRASP Journal
the Rakish Angel Poetry Pamphlet Series
the Czech issue of Ekleksographia (which I edited)
The Return of Kral Majales: Prague's International Literary Renaissance 1990-2010 anthology
VLAK Magazine
and many other notable publications I am currently forgetting.

Czech Literature Portal interviewed me (in English) early in the year (Czech-language version of the interview here), followed by a an interview with Black Heart Magazine at summer's end.

Haggard & Halloo Publications (Austin, Texas, USA) released the first printing of my own first book, Salty as a Lip, which SOLD OUT by the end of the year!

After various readings during the year at Shakespeare & Sons (Rakish Angel and Prague Microfest), Globe Books (GRASP), Anglo-American University (AAU Library - Spring Series), and Radost (Kral Majales launch), I was invited to read at Ostrovy bez hranic (Islands Without Borders festival, in conjunction with Palacky University), in the Moravian city of Olomouc (eastern Czech Republic), an experience that has turned out to be loosely connected with my poetry starting to be published in Czech (e.g., January 2011 issue of KAM v Brně, as well as an upcoming dual-language anthology of "self-exiled" poets in Czech Republic). Hopefully, my work will eventually make its way also into Slovak and Polish.

Gmail Spam Alert: This did NOT come from Gmail (and their spam filter missed it!)

2010-04-28T09:23:00.001+02:00

from: Gmail accountsalert.era@gmail.com
to: accounts-support@google.com
date: Wed, Apr 28, 2010 at 03:40
subject: Warning

Gmail Team is working on total security on all accounts and as a result of this security upgrade we require all Google members to verify their account with Google. To prevent your account from disability you will have to update your informations by clicking the reply button and filling the space below.

Account:
Password:
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Warning!!! Account owner that refuses to update his or her account within Seven days of receiving this warning will lose his or her account permanently.
Thank you for using Gmail !

The Gmail Team

Market Research - Data That Matters

2009-06-17T19:41:00.004+02:00

On 24 July 2008, Last.fm showed the following figures:

Uncle Tupelo

Listeners: 76,728
Plays: 1,105,499

Son Volt

Listeners: 46,355
Plays: 648,940

Wilco

Listeners: 492,169
Plays: 17,326,297

Jayhawks

Listeners: 52,068
Plays: 792,006

Whiskeytown

Listeners: 59,864
Plays: 1,297,201

-----

Jay Farrar

Listeners: 18,467
Plays: 148,837

Jeff Tweedy

Listeners: 34,192
Plays: 527,717

Ryan Adams

Listeners: 329,524
Plays: 12,038,710

Billy Bragg & Wilco

Listeners: 90,978
Plays: 1,334,270

First Translation of Celine's Journey to the End of the Night was to Czech

2009-01-05T11:48:00.012+01:00

Here's an great tidbit on Celine and translation, reported by Eurozine as featured content of Revolver Review #70, the contents of which are unfortunately not available in English (though the excerpt is). I've been trying to learn Czech (and Slovak) for two years, partly so I can read stuff like this, as well as a plethora of Czecho-Slovak underground literature known as Samizdat.

The very first translation of Louis-Ferdinand Céline's Journey to the End of the Night was into Czech, reveals Anna Kareninová in Revolver Revue. Exactly 75 years ago, Céline happened to come to Prague for the first time. There he met the German filmmaker Karl Junghans, who had directed German and Czech films, including Takovy je zivot / Such is Life. Having seen the film in France and admired it greatly, Céline had a spontaneous idea for collaboration: "Although I do not understand [film] and am not sure whether a film could be made of it, I know that you are the only director in the world who could film Journey to the End of the Night according to my conception." Like many of the best ideas, it never came to fruition.

It's interesting to note that Celine himself wished for a Czech or German film version of the novel, if one was to ever be made. I can't help but wonder what Milos Forman or Jan Svankmajer would do if they had a go at it.

U.S. Occupation of Czech Republic -- Can it Be Stopped?

2008-12-01T10:25:00.008+01:00

"Czech Senate ratified today the two radar treaties signed in July [2007] by Czech Prime Minister Mirek Topolánek and US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. By doing so it openly positioned itself against the will of the majority of Czechs as polls have been showing for the last two years that most Czechs disagree with the plan.

“From the point of view of democracy in our country this is a major setback. The government-controlled senate clearly showed that it does not care about the will of the Czech people and that’s simply unacceptable,” said Jan Tamas[...] / Read entire article.

_________________

A Few Reasons Why I Am Against a U.S. Radar Station in Czech Republic:

1. The U.S. already spends far more on its military than all of its "enemies" combined. Conversely, its education system is in ruins, the population increasingly illiterate (evident by the number of people who voted for Geezer/Dingbat (McCain/Palin), against their own interests, in the 2007 elections).

2. Czechs were occupied by Russian military for several decades. During this time, they began to love anything "American." Those who actually support the radar (and subsequent U.S. military bases) are still under this spell (caused mostly by Hollywood films - for example, they don't believe there are homeless people in the USA). The powerful minority of radar supporters have not yet realized that they'll be trading Russian occupation for American occupation.

3. It makes the Czech Republic, and especially Prague, a target.

4. It serves no strategic purpose that could not be better placed in already-occupied countries such as Afghanistan and Iraq.

5. The U.S. went nuts when Russia put similar weapons in Cuba, yet expects Russia not to mind it doing the same thing - putting missiles and radar bases on Russia's doorstep. How would the U.S. react if Russia installed a similar setup in Cancun or Montreal?

6. The majority of Czechs don't want it (apparently, Czech Republic is not a real democracy).

7. Iran, a formidable country, is surrounded by U.S. military (Afghanistan/Iraq)... Russia is being threatened by radar and missile bases on its doorstep... America needs to relax a bit, get its own problems taken care of (education system, economy, unemployment, etc.), and not be so globally self-important.

See the chain of events that have led to this point, or sign an online petition to stop American (U.S.) military occupation of the Czech Republic.

Join the official facebook group "No US military base on Czech Republic territory."

And here's a larger Euro-wide movement called Europe for Peace: Europe free from nuclear weapons.

Tribe.net to be Revamped

2008-11-13T15:28:00.006+01:00

I received the following email today from Tribe.net, which I discovered (and liked) long before I found Myspace, and later Facebook and LinkedIn. It appears that Tribe.net is back in the game.

San Francisco, CA (PRWEB) November 11, 2008 -- Utah Street Networks and New Systems Associates today entered into an operating agreement to manage Tribe.net, one of the first social networking sites, add competitive social networking features to the site, and revitalize the Tribe community.

The first priorities for New Systems Associates are to stabilize the platform and improve the site's performance. To accomplish these goals, the company is committing substantial resources to upgrade Tribe's hardware and application. The hardware migration will begin immediately, resulting in better performance and stability users expect from a world-class social network. New Systems Associates will also add new features to improve connections within the Tribe community and to other social networks and widgets.

In the longer term, New Systems Associates will grow the Tribe community by developing features including advanced privacy features, profile control, regional relevancy, personal discovery, and free-range connectivity. The company is committed to strengthening Tribe's alternative community and the unique ways in which users interact.

Utah Street Networks, Inc. is the owner of Tribe.net, one of the oldest social networking sites on the Internet and pioneers of social graphing.

New Systems Associates is an LLC formed by long-time Tribe members who believe in protecting and expanding Tribe's unique culture.

For more information please email info @ tribe.net.

De Profundis in Your Pocket

2008-11-03T09:00:00.006+01:00

Etsy.com, "your place to buy & sell all things handmade" (and support hard-working artisans instead of corporations), offers an Oscar Wilde De Profundis Pocket Mirror.

Artist Tiffini Elektra X makes other mirrors, as well, featuring collages based on themes ranging from Buddha to Alice in Wonderland to Shakespeare to the Muses. At her own site, tartx.com, you'll find a range of her other handmade items that include jewelry, magnets, and bookmarks.

Central / East European Literary Anthology - Free PDF Download

2008-10-31T16:18:00.004+01:00

Slovakia's Centre for Information on Literature (Literárne a informačné centrum) has done a great thing for literature and language: They have placed a downloadable PDF of an anthology of Czech, Slovak, Polish, and Hungarian literature, called Visegrad 4 Countries, on their website. Additionally, and most important for folks like me (linguistically challenged), there's a translation of the anthology text in English.

Pal Bekes (Hungary), the anthology's editor-in-chief, headed the project that received support by the following country editors: Ivory Rodriguez (Czech Republic), Ina Martinova (Slovakia), and Piotr Marciszuk (Poland).

Authors include: Jan Balaban, Stanislav Beran, and Jachym Topol (Czech Republic); Karol D. Horvath, Marius Kopcsay, and Ursula Kovalyk (Slovakia); Pawel Huelle, Olga Tokarczukova, and Daniel Odija (Poland); and Lajos Parti Nagy, Szilard Podmaniczky, Margit Halaszova, and Gyorgy Spiro (Hungary).

*

As I have only read Jachym Topol from the above list of Central/East European writers, I'm looking forward to reading my own downloaded copy over the holidays.

U.S. Coast Guard Cutter "Dallas" Lost at Sea

2008-08-28T13:07:00.006+02:00

Hmmm... U.S. Coast Guard cutter "Dallas" seems to have gotten lost, since (last time I checked) THE U.S. COAST IS NOWHERE NEAR THE BLACK SEA.

thisislondon.co.uk article
(with pic of "Dallas" arriving in Batumi, Georgia - a port on the Black Sea)

official US Coast Guard photo on flickr
(of "Dallas" at a port in Crete, Greece)

It doesn't matter whether the Coast Guard cutter ship is there "for humanitarian reasons" or not, it's the type of action that makes the US look either a) aggressive, b) stupid, or c) both a & b.

Originial Blade Server

2008-08-21T15:35:00.005+02:00

Wikipedia mentions plenty about blade servers here.

But strangely... in Wikipedia's "history of blade servers" section, no mention is made of Zorro.

Why the World Laughs at Americans

2008-02-18T21:27:00.013+01:00

Do you want to know one major reason so many Europeans laugh when they see an advertisements like the following pop up on their computer screens, assuming that they (and everyone else not born in the USA) naturally would want to live there?

They laugh because of the utter arrogance of such assumptions, the downward spiral of the US Dollar... and also because of stupid things like this (note location of Iraq):

Apparently, CNN thinks Iraq has relocated to where Germany used to be.

And in another interesting change of geography, Hungary seems to have shifted west - far enough to have replaced Austria - thus moving Slovakia's capital, Bratislava, to the southernmost tip of Czech republic...

So how does Czech Republic feel about their acquisition of Slovakia's capital, Bratislava? Well, one can't be sure. You could ask them, but... Czech Republic is now apparently called "Switzerland"...

So maybe we should ask Slovakia how it feels about its capital having been moved to Czech Republic (now known as Switzerland). But wait... I don't think they're going to care! Slovakia has now moved a few hundred kilometers southwest to a Mediterranean climate, apparently to take over Slovenia's territory. And thus, the former Ljubljana, Slovenia appears to be the new Bratislava, Slovakia...

Some Concerts I've Experienced

2008-02-15T22:06:00.006+01:00

Most of these at various venues in ATLANTA (GA), CHATTANOOGA (TN), or at CALHOUN (GA)'s own little "Concerts in the Country" venue. Notice the list starts country (when I was only allowed to attend concerts with my mom & stepdad), but gets much better...

The Righteous Brothers & Kenny Rogers. Alabama. Sawyer Brown (numerous times). Ray Stevens. John Snyder. Larry Gatlin & the Gatlin Brothers. The Beach Boys at Fulton County Stadium (after a Braves game). Chicago at Six Flags.

James Brown, TLC, the Atlanta Rhythm Section, & Dick Clark at a pre-Olympics celebration.

Rush & Mr. Big at the Omni (the night Paul Gilbert got a drill caught in his hair during a typical 80s guitar wank, and they had to cut it out backstage).

The Black Crowes on the last night they opened for ZZ Top, before the latter kicked them off the tour (supposedly for using foul language -- what?! that's what rock n roll is for! -- but more likely because Chris Robinson made mention to the audience about ticket prices being too high).

Lollapalooza II: Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ministry (with cameo by Kirk Hammet), Lush, Ice Cube, Porno for Pyros, House of Pain, Stone Temple Pilots, etc.

Lollapalooza III: Alice in Chains, Fishbone, Primus, Arrested Development, Dinosaur Jr., Rage Against the Machine, Luscious Jackson, Tool, etc.

Lollapalooza IV: Beastie Boys, George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars, L7, The Breeders, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Black Crowes, etc.

Spin Doctors/Soul Asylum/Screaming Trees & Bad Company/Damn Yankees – Lakewood Amphitheatre. Lenny Kravitz & Blind Melon at Chastain Park. Prince at the Fox. Jayhawks & Dramarama at the Roxy for $2.49.

Bob Dylan.

John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers. J.J. Cale. Morphine. All in Little Five Points (Atlanta). The Band – numerous places, among them Market Street Performance Hall. Government Mule at the Sandbar. Drivin n Cryin at the Sandbar. Widespread Panic at the National Guard Armoury. Phish in Nashville with guest appearance by Bela Fleck.

Go west, young man... Most of the following in/around PORTLAND (OR)...

Wilco/John Hiatt/Los Lobos in Pioneer Square (Wilco numerous other times/places). Southern Culture on the Skids. White Stripes at Berbati's. Jayhawks at Music Millenium. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. Neil Young, solo & acoustic at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Kelly Joe Phelps at the Aladdin with Tom Waits' bass player & Morphine's drummer.

Tom Waits in Eugene. Willie Nelson at Clark County Fair. Chris Isaac at Portland Zoo. Jeff Tweedy solo – Aladdin Theatre & Crystal Ballroom.

And then, halfway around the globe -- PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC...

Kackala at Roxy NOD, Marian Varga at Vagon, Hudba Praha and Morcheeba at Lucerna, Jaroslav Hutka at a tiny cafe/pub, Brad Huff all over town, many many times... Niceland (Misha, my former flatmate for six months), Psi Vojaci, and Plastic People of the Universe at Bohnice...

And now I've got a baby, so no concerts for a while. :-)

Social Networking for Book Lovers

2008-01-28T10:56:00.000+01:00

I didn't know social networking sites for book lovers existed before a friend sent me an invitation to Shelfari. I was pleased. A typical list-making (over-analyzing) Virgo, I've been tracking the books I've read in an Excel spreadsheet for over 10 years. I was more than glad to have a way to share that information with friends, a way to see what they might be reading, and to answer any questions they might have about the books I've read.

So I signed up with Shelfari, and it was only later that I found there are several similar sites to choose from. So I did some digging around, and here are a few more I found:

http://www.goodreads.com/
http://www.gurulib.com/
http://www.librarything.com/

If you want to know which is right for you, there's a fairly in-depth review and comparison of Gurulib, Shelfari, and Librarything at the librarytwopointzero blog. Also, here's an article/review at Publishers Weekly.

Google, never to be outdone, launched their own version in Sept 2007, called MyLibrary. You can read more about Google's version on the Wired Blog.

And if you're still undecided, a few other sites are available:
http://www.whatsonmybookshelf.com/
http://www.bookswellread.com/
http://www.revish.com/

As for me, I'm glad I didn't research this earlier, before joining Shelfari, or I might've gone crazy with all the options. Overall, my Shelfari page is perfect for what I need it for, and it's got other features I don't even use (such as book reviews and book groups).

If you know of other sites, or would like to comment on any of the above, please leave it in the comments section.

Ross Perot - On Money & Happiness

2008-01-25T23:41:00.000+01:00

"Right after my company got successful, as a young man I met some of the wealthiest people in the world. I found that they were such unhappy, lonely people... I learned that money and happiness are unrelated."

~ Ross Perot

Bye Bye, Mr. American Ledger

2008-01-23T12:10:00.000+01:00

Yes, I know Heath Ledger was Australian, but he seems to me now to have been more "American" than most USA-born celebrities. He was, after all, living in Brooklyn. By choice. When he didn't have to.

I just heard about his death via www... and while I was reading about it, about him (synchronistically, Don McClean's song "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" was playing on my speakers), I realized the most 'tragic' aspect of his loss: he was reported to have been a good father. And now his young daughter, Matilda, will feel the void more than anyone else.

My hat is off to the late Heath Ledger. Pending autopsy will show this or that, rumors and suspicions may or may not be confirmed, some overzealous religious wingnuts will proclaim it as God punishing him for playing a homosexual in Brokeback Mountain, but none of that matters.

What matters is that, even for the two years of her life, Ledger was a good father. And for that he has my respect.

Oscar Wilde's De Profundis

2008-01-13T01:13:00.001+01:00

I recently saw the film Wilde, about Oscar Wilde, a man whose wit will be forever quoted. I was a little disappointed that the film was more about Wilde's homosexuality than his writing, but that seems to be the trend these days.

Oscar Wilde's De Profundis is a long and sappy letter he wrote to his lover while imprisoned for their 'transgressions'. (Yes, I'm obviously obsessed with all things de profundis.)

I've included here some of the more notable quotes from the text:

Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return. With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one centre of pain.

*

Prosperity, pleasure and success, may be rough of grain and common in fibre, but sorrow is the most sensitive of all created things. There is nothing that stirs in the whole world of thought to which sorrow does not vibrate in terrible and exquisite pulsation.

*

The poor are wise, more charitable, more kind, more sensitive than we are. In their eyes prison is a tragedy in a man's life, a misfortune, a casuality, something that calls for sympathy in others. They speak of one who is in prison as of one who is 'in trouble' simply. It is the phrase they always use, and the expression has the perfect wisdom of love in it.

*

Nothing seems to me of the smallest value except what one gets out of oneself. My nature is seeking a fresh mode of self-realisation. That is all I am concerned with. And the first thing that I have got to do is to free myself from any possible bitterness of feeling against the world.

*

I am completely penniless, and absolutely homeless. Yet there are worse things in the world than that.

*

I am a born antinomian. I am one of those who are made for exceptions, not for laws. But while I see that there is nothing wrong in what one does, I see that there is something wrong in what one becomes.

*

Religion does not help me. The faith that others give to what is unseen, I give to what one can touch, and look at[...] Every thing to be true must become a religion. And agnosticism should have its ritual no less than faith. It has sown its martyrs, it should reap its saints, and praise God daily for having hidden Himself from man.

*

Reason does not help me. It tells me that the laws under which I am convicted are wrong and unjust laws, and the system under which I have suffered a wrong and unjust system.

*

The only people I would care to be with now are artists and people who have suffered: those who know what beauty is, and those who know what sorrow is: nobody else interests me.

*

I now see that sorrow, being the supreme emotion of which man is capable, is at once the type and test of all great art. What the artist is always looking for is the mode of existence in which soul and body are one and indivisible: in which the outward is expressive of the inward: in which form reveals.

*

We call ours a utilitarian age, and we do not know the uses of any single thing. We have forgotten that water can cleanse, and fire purify, and that the Earth is mother to us all. As a consequence our art is of the moon and plays with shadows, while Greek art is of the sun and deals directly with things. I feel sure that in elemental forces there is purification, and I want to go back to them and live in their presence.

*

I have grown tired of the articulate utterances of men and things. The Mystical in Art, the Mystical in Life, the Mystical in Nature this is what I am looking for.

What People Seem to Want

2008-01-06T13:44:00.000+01:00

My blog statistics show that a large percentage of my hits are from folks searching for "nude girls," which directs them to my reposting of a funny video with naked mannequins and skateboards. What disappointment!

Another big target is my recommendation of a Lonely Planet article about Russian spas in which the attendees flog each other. They find this when they search "naked Russians." Again, big disappointment.

So in tribute to these misguided search attempts for visual stimulation of a more pornographic nature, I am posting here a photo that will disappoint yet again! It's for all those who google "cameltoe" hoping for a glimpse of tight cloth against the female genitalia. YOU AIN'T GONNA GET IT HERE! LOLOLOLOLOLOL :P

Hippy Holy Daze

2007-11-28T14:50:00.000+01:00

Remember that Santa and his Angels are occupying Iraq for our sins.

US Foreign Policy

2007-11-18T20:17:00.001+01:00

Enough said.

Being Flogged By Naked Russians

2007-11-16T20:30:00.000+01:00

Lonely Planet recently announced the sale of 75% of their company to BBC Worldwide. Most LP readers, according to comments on the Lonely Planet Blog, seem to feel good about the possibilities of this maneuver.

If you subscribe to Lonely Planet's email list, you will sometimes surf your way into culture stories such as "Bathing Naked With Russians" -- which I've excerpted here:

"Russians like to belt each other with venik (birch sticks) while they bathe[...] The moment I felt that first light brush of another's branch on my buttock I was like a terrorised deer[...] They then proceeded to thrash me[...] I don't know if anyone has ever said you haven't really lived until you've been flogged by a naked Russian, but I'm saying it now. Once you get over the alienating culture shock it's quite relaxing."

Kudos to Lonely Planet for, among other things, managing to expand readers' perceptions about other cultures. Some of us may thrive on 'culture shock', but for those who don't, LP provides ample warning.

A Magical Fluke

2007-11-12T17:46:00.000+01:00

It's not often that I pay attention to news stories, and less often that I'll recommend one to my regular readers, but the following Reuters story popped up at the top of my gmail inbox, and I'm moved to bring it to your attention.

Reuters story

Original website where the man posted his description

What blows my mind about this is the number of NY city inhabitants (8 million) -- and that the internet made it possible for this guy to find one (1) person with a basic cartoon sketch. There really is magic in the world if you look for it.

John Cage's Rules For Learning

2007-10-31T23:15:00.001+01:00

Of course you'll have to click on the image, it's much too small to read like this.

Czechs & Slovaks in American History

2007-10-07T08:29:00.000+02:00

The Library of Congress offers a "European Reading Room" with a special projects section on their website. Each provides a historical timeline for the important contributions of particular immigrants to helping shape the USA, or what is most commonly referred to as "America" when abroad (sorry, Canada).

Czechs in American History

Slovaks in American History

There are also links to pages on the Finns, Germans, Portuguese & Luxembourgers on the main Special Projects page.

Goth Poetry Generator

2007-09-22T22:25:00.000+02:00

In an earlier post I provided a link to the Post-Modernism Essay Generator, which creates the kind of schlock written by many unfortunately aimless academics.

Well, here is a parallel machine geared for many of the black-clad hipster students who worship these sad professors... It's called the Goth-O-Matic Poetry Generator, and a few moments with it yields the kind of poetry many overworked editors must reject daily (in order to maintain some semblance of esteem in the literary landscape).

Types of goth poetry you can generate include:
Supernatural Violence & Horror
The Feeling Very Sorry For Yourself
The Fear of Religious Persecution
The Eternal Love of Vampires
The Black Abyss of Righteous Hatred

Czech Black Humor

2007-09-09T15:17:00.000+02:00

Czech & Slovak humor is something I can relate to well, most likely since my dad's grandparents came from this region of Europe. It's a humor that holds nothing back -- nothing sacred -- for if humor can't encounter any hypothetical situation or topic, then what can?

During the summer of 2007, a Czech group known as Ztohoven (think of a modern version of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters) hacked into a morning TV segment in which cameras pan across the country's terrain. What resulted was a fairly realistic rendition of a nuclear bomb going off in some godforsaken village during the breakfast hours.

Immediately, both TV station representatives and other municipal authorities promised justice against these "terror-inciting hackers" (paraphrase). First, read Ztohoven's response, then watch the video footage and judge for yourself how much harm could possibly come of it.

To me, it seems anyone with half a brain could tell this was a prank simply by switching to other channels. Remember 9/11? On every channel. If something like this were real, it too would be on every channel.

More Prague Pics

2007-07-19T21:43:00.000+02:00

Click for more Prague photos -- winter 2006-2007, as well as miscelaneous sites around town, JESUS SIGHTINGS, and a trip to Bratislava, Slovakia.

Free WILCO

2007-07-17T22:04:00.001+02:00

As you may well know, WILCO has been one of my favorite bands since I picked up their first album AM from a discount bin in the early 90s. Now you too can experience their music for very little cost: only a few moments of your time. CLICK HERE for a free downloadable EP album made available on the WILCOworld website.

Po-Mo Essay Generator

2007-06-28T09:15:00.000+02:00

Behold! the Post-Modernism Essay Generator, the secret tool used by thousands of professors working in publish-or-perish institutions.

More than once while doing time at Pepsi State University I realized the 'critical' texts I was reading were absolute schlock... structurally coherent, yes, but that was where it ended. And now I know how those texts were written.

Cool Words

2007-06-09T01:16:00.000+02:00

or Aeon Iota

A cool word is abscond, I said
to which Stephen responded with timepiece

Yes, an oxymoronic compound, I wrote
and we thought about this

IKEA Job Interview

2007-02-02T13:38:00.000+01:00

For those who've ever purchased from IKEA, you'll understand this better than most. The most ironic thing about IKEA products is that I've never needed to consult with their assembly instructions (very easy to assemble), yet they come in more languages than you can imagine.

Charles Baudelaire: Two De Profundis Poems

2007-01-18T17:16:00.000+01:00

DE PROFUNDIS CLAMAVI

O my sole love, I pray thee pity me
From out this dark gulf where my poor heart lies,
A barren world hemmed in by leaden skies
Where horror flies at night, and blasphemy.

For half the year the sickly sun is seen,
The other half thick night lies on the land,
A country bleaker than the polar strand;
No beasts, no brooks, nor any shred of green.

There never was a horror which surpassed
This icy sun's cold cruelty, and this vast
Night like primaeval Chaos; would I were

Like the dumb brutes, who in a secret lair
Lie wrapt in stupid slumber for a space...
Time creeps at so burdensome a pace.

(translation by Sir John Squire)

OBSESSION

You forests, like cathedrals, are my dread :
You roar like organs. Our curst hearts, like cells
Where death forever rattles on the bed,
Echo your de Profundis as it swells.

My spirit hates you, Ocean ! sees and loathes
Its tumults in your own. Of men defeated
The bitter laugh, that's full of sobs and oaths,
Is in your own tremendously repeated.

How you would please me, Night ! without your stars
Which speak a foreign dialect, that jars
On one who seeks the void, the black, the bare.

Yet even your darkest shade a canvas forms
Whereron my eye must multiply in swarms
Familiar looks of shapes no longer there.

(translation by Roy Campbell)

Yet Another Great Comic

2007-01-11T16:10:00.000+01:00

Aptly titled "Found To-Do List"

from toothpastefordinner.com

Types of Relationships

2007-01-07T21:39:00.000+01:00

Ever one to question the status quo, I was a year or so ago researching the anthropological history of intimate relationships, as well as the fairly recent (within the last few hundred years) origins of 'romantic love' as we know it, when I stumbled upon this chart somewhere on the web. I saved it then, but forgot to note its source. I looked for it again recently via google image search, but could not find it. Anyway, I think it says plenty about our limited perceptions as to what relationships can, could, and/or should be. If you have questions about any of it, don't ask me - I've no idea what a "delta-triad" or a "tertiary" is, only that they must have existed in some societies and cultures (and probably still do somewhere).

Let us all make 2007 a renaissance for learning and self-study... a new age of enlightenment.

Great Tom Waits Quotes

2007-01-02T11:28:00.000+01:00

Tom Waits is no ordinary songwriter. He's probably one of the greatest American writers in American history - and partly because he has soaked up so much of it. The guy doesn't just reinterpret all things Americana, he's basically a walking Smithsonian. Here are a few of my favorite lines from his music, as well as another quote or two from interviews:

"Money's just something you throw off the back of a train"

"You'll be buried in the clothes that you never wore"

"My daddy told me, lookin back, the best friend you'll have is a railroad track"

"You can put all my possessions in Jesus' name"

"How do the angels get to sleep when the devil leaves the porch light on?"

"You know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk"

"Come down off the cross, we could use the wood"

"She's my black market baby, she's a diamond who wants to stay coal"

"I'll bet she's still a virgin, but it's only twenty-five to nine"

"The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep... And the combo went back to New York, the jukebox has to take a leak... And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break... Cause the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make... And the piano has been drinking..."

"Disneyland is Vegas for children" (interview in Playboy, March 1988)

My Friend in the New James Bond Flick

2006-12-29T14:46:00.000+01:00

My friend Michael Cella has a cameo in the new James Bond flick Casino Royale. Mike (on the right) runs the Globe Cafe & Bookstore here in Prague. On Christmas Day, he talked with my mom when my family called me, as he and I were at a shindig along the river where about 20 expats were hosted by a most-generous Brit & Swede couple.

Quote For the New Year

2006-12-29T13:56:00.000+01:00

"Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority."

~Thomas H. Huxley (1825 - 1895)

Cyberhugs For Annie Wilkins!

2006-12-24T16:46:00.000+01:00

My best new Prague friend Robbie Wilkins is a documentary filmmaker and a typical posterchild for the 'Creative Class'. We observe, think, dream, plan, analyze, and create together, shaping history with every breath. Prior to coming to Prague, Robbie intended to move to... Portland. But since I was leaving Portland to come here, he must have sensed a flux in the universe and came to Prague to prepare for my arrival instead (a rather self-centered perspective, but nonetheless true to my perception).

So this gets better... Robbie's sister Annie is moving to Portland. Here is Annie's blog - and though I've not met her, her editorial blog-eye suggests she's every bit as dynamic a soul as her brother. Please, Portland friends, welcome Annie Wilkins to our fair city on the Left Coast (the American city that tries harder than any other to be 'European' - and almost succeeds).

T-Shirt Haiku

2006-12-22T20:03:00.000+01:00

Saw this on a t-shirt @ www.threadless.com and loved it!

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refridgerator

French Connection

2006-12-20T15:18:00.000+01:00

Publication History

2006-12-18T13:07:00.013+01:00

I'm primarily posting this so I can create a link to it in my sidebar as kind of a writerly CV. It should trickle down soon enough and then nobody will have to look at it. Since around 1997, I've had poetry or prose (reviews, prose poems) published in the following:

Journals:
Kam v Brně
Past Simple
Cerebration
Super Clod Clod
Rakish Angel
GRASP
Turntable and Blue Light
Gently Read Literature
Willows Wept Review
Heavy Bear
Black Heart Magazine
The Smoking Poet
Long Island Quarterly (forthcoming)
The Refined Savage
Eight Octaves Review
Venereal Kittens
Poetica
Black Lamb
Oregon English Journal

Haggard and Halloo

The Poetry Pole

Get Underground

Out of Order
Open Wide Magazine
The Other Side of Ragged Edge
Zino's Paradox
The Mercury
Alchemy
Radioactive Pickle
In-Synch

Anthologies:
The Return of Kral Majales: Prague's International Literary Renaissance 1990-2010

A.D. Winans Tribute (Open Wide Magazine)
Destination Anywhere (Open Wide Magazine)

Raising Our Voices: Oregon Poets Against the War

Self-Inflicted Euro Haircut - Part Deux

2006-12-14T18:38:00.000+01:00

Well I told you they were coming, so here they are - pics of my first ever self-inflicted haircut (unless Mom remembers another time when I was a wee lad?). Anyway, this was a huge milestone for me, letting go my desire for a 'professional' and simply trusting in my own perfectionist tendencies. And I saved a few bucks along the way.

The tools... small pair of dull scissors, which I could barely fit my fingers into... small mirror, about 2"x3"... and a rubber band off some vegetables (I don't remember what kind).

The remnants of my wooly winter fluff.

The results (after an hour or so): Voila! Euro Haircuts rock! Please note that it looked much better after a wash, and looks great now since it's got its curl back.

Thank you for your fascination.

Genius: Do You Know Who I Am?

2006-12-11T20:32:00.000+01:00

I can only hope I will be this clever if ever in a similar situation:

What I Need(ed) For Christmas(17+ Years Ago)

2006-12-11T19:44:00.000+01:00

The alarm clock that runs away and hides when you don't wake up. Clocky gives you one chance to get up. But if you snooze, Clocky will jump off of your nightstand and wheel around your room looking for a place to hide. Clocky is kind of like a misbehaving pet, only he will get up at the right time. Read more...

I know, it may sound crazy, but when I was in high school I would set anywhere from 3-5 alarm clocks all around the room - electric, battery, wind-up, it didn't matter... I'd either sleep through them or get up in my sleep and turn them off. Typically, my waking up required my grandma or my sister shaking me until I came to.

To be fair, I wasn't lazy - I simply rarely got sleep. Living on a hobby-farm meant routine phonecalls from neighbors telling us our cows had gotten through our shabby fences and were in the middle of the road... so I'd often get up at 3:30am (or whenever), round up the cows with a flashlight, 'repair' the fence with bailing twine (or wire), and then go back to bed for an hour or two before school.

And my teachers wondered why I slept through classes...

Self-Inflicted Euro Haircut

2006-12-08T11:42:00.000+01:00

Last night I cut my own hair. I look more 'European' now (no, it's not a Euro-mullet, but it was at one point - til I fixed it). Photos will follow in a few days.

Murrican Haiku

2006-12-04T20:09:00.000+01:00

Expat damsels
crochet cuz they have to
- th'accordion's that intense

~written at Globe Bookstore & Cafe, during Pavel Brycz's reading from his book I, City (Twisted Spoon Press).

Quotes of the Day

2006-11-30T17:40:00.000+01:00

"I can believe anything, provided it is incredible." ~ Oscar Wilde

"It is to the poet a thing of awe to find that his story is true." ~ Isak Dinesen

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

“Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash.” ~ Emo Phillips

Prague in 3 Minutes

2006-11-21T17:52:00.000+01:00

I wish I could say I had something to do with this short film of Prague still-shots, or the superb choice of my favorite band Wilco for the sound, but alas I only found it on YouTube, so I take credit only in presenting it to you:

Seldomfence - Possibly My 'Post of the Season'

2006-11-21T14:38:00.000+01:00

I wonder why CDs from one of my old bands, Seldomfence, are selling for so much on amazon when we could barely sell them for half that much at our shows?

Some online reviews I found through google mention:

"[Seldomfence]...would be excellent listening for a road trip across the midwest in autumn" (Portland Mercury, 25 Oct 2000)

and

"...the type of music that might be created from a group of friends cooped up inside on a cold winter night after having a few whiskeys (or maybe just a Portland microbrew) to warm up" (Swizzlestick, 1 May 2001)

but there's certainly nothing that warrants a $20+ price tag - that's ridiculous.

Rob and I hard at work...

2006-11-20T12:09:00.000+01:00

Rob (on right) and I, the tech guys behind the scenes at the Sweater Club...

My New Job

2006-11-17T15:29:00.000+01:00

The Origin of 'Terrorism'

2006-11-17T14:28:00.000+01:00

"DON'T EAT THE BIG APPLE," God said to the first humans, and so they cut down the tree that held it, all the other trees around it, and built two towers in its place.

They called these Babel North and Babel South, both majestic and, to them, superior to anything God had made.

And since God saw the humans' hubris, He sent a score of brown dragons to destroy their towers.

Then the terrified humans said, "Surely our God would not do such a thing," and so they waged war on the brown dragons, for they could no longer see the works of their own God.

Quote of the Week

2006-11-17T11:28:00.000+01:00

"It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them."

~ Bill Vaughan

Prague Sonnet #3

2006-11-17T10:43:00.000+01:00

From New-in-Prague...

My favorite cafe serves kerosene matches
that go out only with sirens
thump thump thumping at cardiac doors.
I've tried to drown them in pilsner falls.
Flapping arms I've taken flight... and still
they burn. I am sleepless over this
pending inferno. This game between hops & scotch,
studying white lines thick as pages,
counting quarter-to-two cracks in the plaster
waiting for the pipes to burst. I am
a medieval rocket - destined to hoist
red flags on the moons of dark ages.
I satellite spires, awake as a wheel
in the midst of zodiac clocks.

17 October 2006

Quote: Our Greatest Fear

2006-11-16T19:18:00.000+01:00

The following quote, perhaps best-known from its use in the film Coach Carter, is often mistakenly attributed to Nelson Mandela, but was in fact written by Marianne Williamson:

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God, your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

New Jeff Tweedy Film Trailer

2006-11-16T13:54:00.000+01:00

Jeff Tweedy, the mastermind behind the bands Wilco and Loose Fur, as well as contributor to such musical projects as Golden Smog and Uncle Tupelo, is one of my favorite living songwriters (along with Tom Waits, Leonard Cohen, and JJ Cale). Here's a trailer for a new film about a solo tour in the Pacific NW that I had the pleasure of seeing with my friend Brennan Ehret at the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, Oregon:

Buy the DVD:
Jeff Tweedy - Sunken Treasure - Live in the Pacific Northwest

Jason in Prague (Photos)

2006-11-14T19:28:00.000+01:00

See complete photo journal here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/jason.mashak/NewInPraguePics

Girls Skateboarding... Nude!

2006-11-14T11:04:00.001+01:00

Well, they're not exactly girls, but I've never seen anything quite like this... so mesmerizing I have to use it for my first post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNWYqs-p1Gk