Why the World Laughs at Americans

Do you want to know one major reason so many Europeans laugh when they see an advertisements like the following pop up on their computer screens, assuming that they (and everyone else not born in the USA) naturally would want to live there?



They laugh because of the utter arrogance of such assumptions, the downward spiral of the US Dollar... and also because of stupid things like this (note location of Iraq):



Apparently, CNN thinks Iraq has relocated to where Germany used to be.

And in another interesting change of geography, Hungary seems to have shifted west - far enough to have replaced Austria - thus moving Slovakia's capital, Bratislava, to the southernmost tip of Czech republic...



So how does Czech Republic feel about their acquisition of Slovakia's capital, Bratislava? Well, one can't be sure. You could ask them, but... Czech Republic is now apparently called "Switzerland"...



So maybe we should ask Slovakia how it feels about its capital having been moved to Czech Republic (now known as Switzerland). But wait... I don't think they're going to care! Slovakia has now moved a few hundred kilometers southwest to a Mediterranean climate, apparently to take over Slovenia's territory. And thus, the former Ljubljana, Slovenia appears to be the new Bratislava, Slovakia...

What People Seem to Want

My blog statistics show that a large percentage of my hits are from folks searching for "nude girls," which directs them to my reposting of a funny video with naked mannequins and skateboards. What disappointment!

Another big target is my recommendation of a Lonely Planet article about Russian spas in which the attendees flog each other. They find this when they search "naked Russians." Again, big disappointment.

So in tribute to these misguided search attempts for visual stimulation of a more pornographic nature, I am posting here a photo that will disappoint yet again! It's for all those who google "cameltoe" hoping for a glimpse of tight cloth against the female genitalia. YOU AIN'T GONNA GET IT HERE! LOLOLOLOLOLOL :P

Czech Black Humor

Czech & Slovak humor is something I can relate to well, most likely since my dad's grandparents came from this region of Europe. It's a humor that holds nothing back -- nothing sacred -- for if humor can't encounter any hypothetical situation or topic, then what can?

During the summer of 2007, a Czech group known as Ztohoven (think of a modern version of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters) hacked into a morning TV segment in which cameras pan across the country's terrain. What resulted was a fairly realistic rendition of a nuclear bomb going off in some godforsaken village during the breakfast hours.

Immediately, both TV station representatives and other municipal authorities promised justice against these "terror-inciting hackers" (paraphrase). First, read Ztohoven's response, then watch the video footage and judge for yourself how much harm could possibly come of it.



To me, it seems anyone with half a brain could tell this was a prank simply by switching to other channels. Remember 9/11? On every channel. If something like this were real, it too would be on every channel.

Po-Mo Essay Generator

Behold! the Post-Modernism Essay Generator, the secret tool used by thousands of professors working in publish-or-perish institutions.

More than once while doing time at Pepsi State University I realized the 'critical' texts I was reading were absolute schlock... structurally coherent, yes, but that was where it ended. And now I know how those texts were written.

French Connection

Genius: Do You Know Who I Am?

I can only hope I will be this clever if ever in a similar situation:

Self-Inflicted Euro Haircut

Last night I cut my own hair. I look more 'European' now (no, it's not a Euro-mullet, but it was at one point - til I fixed it). Photos will follow in a few days.

Seldomfence - Possibly My 'Post of the Season'

I wonder why CDs from one of my old bands, Seldomfence, are selling for so much on amazon when we could barely sell them for half that much at our shows?


Some online reviews I found through google mention:

"[Seldomfence]...would be excellent listening for a road trip across the midwest in autumn" (Portland Mercury, 25 Oct 2000)

and

"...the type of music that might be created from a group of friends cooped up inside on a cold winter night after having a few whiskeys (or maybe just a Portland microbrew) to warm up" (Swizzlestick, 1 May 2001)

but there's certainly nothing that warrants a $20+ price tag - that's ridiculous.

Girls Skateboarding... Nude!

Well, they're not exactly girls, but I've never seen anything quite like this... so mesmerizing I have to use it for my first post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNWYqs-p1Gk