Small Towns and Bombs

What is it with small towns having so many bomb threats? I recall that as a teenager in north Georgia (the US state) the nearby towns would have them, and they were typically traced back to prank callers.

After attending Cirque de Glace today in Prague, which turned out to be a bit of a bomb but at least my daughter loved it (I would've preferred Cirque Erotique a la Plage), we headed home a different way to avoid the traffic that we were stuck in for far too long on the way to the event, and we ended up in the Czech town of Melnik, where we had dinner at a pizzeria and then stopped by TESCO (like a British Wal-Mart chain) on our way home.

We'd been there about 10 minutes when employees and a couple police officers began guiding everyone to the front, along with the news that there'd been a bomb threat.

In the US, a message like this would have sent shoppers running in a panic... but not here in old Bohemia -- no, Czechs being the infamous skeptics that they are, people just looked pissed off and slowly trudged along toward the front, many even stopping to buy smokes on the way out. I too doubted the reality of the threat, but I quickly got my daughter outside (just in case).

Afterward, I sent an sms to a friend who lives not far from there and mentioned sarcastically that "Melnik seems to be a hotbed of Muslim activity" (actually, probably the only extremist group anywhere near there would be Czech neo-Nazis), to which he reminded me that Czechs did invent Semtex.

U.S. Coast Guard Cutter "Dallas" Lost at Sea

Hmmm... U.S. Coast Guard cutter "Dallas" seems to have gotten lost, since (last time I checked) THE U.S. COAST IS NOWHERE NEAR THE BLACK SEA.

thisislondon.co.uk article
(with pic of "Dallas" arriving in Batumi, Georgia - a port on the Black Sea)

official US Coast Guard photo on flickr
(of "Dallas" at a port in Crete, Greece)

It doesn't matter whether the Coast Guard cutter ship is there "for humanitarian reasons" or not, it's the type of action that makes the US look either a) aggressive, b) stupid, or c) both a & b.

Why the World Laughs at Americans

Do you want to know one major reason so many Europeans laugh when they see an advertisements like the following pop up on their computer screens, assuming that they (and everyone else not born in the USA) naturally would want to live there?



They laugh because of the utter arrogance of such assumptions, the downward spiral of the US Dollar... and also because of stupid things like this (note location of Iraq):



Apparently, CNN thinks Iraq has relocated to where Germany used to be.

And in another interesting change of geography, Hungary seems to have shifted west - far enough to have replaced Austria - thus moving Slovakia's capital, Bratislava, to the southernmost tip of Czech republic...



So how does Czech Republic feel about their acquisition of Slovakia's capital, Bratislava? Well, one can't be sure. You could ask them, but... Czech Republic is now apparently called "Switzerland"...



So maybe we should ask Slovakia how it feels about its capital having been moved to Czech Republic (now known as Switzerland). But wait... I don't think they're going to care! Slovakia has now moved a few hundred kilometers southwest to a Mediterranean climate, apparently to take over Slovenia's territory. And thus, the former Ljubljana, Slovenia appears to be the new Bratislava, Slovakia...

Some Concerts I've Experienced

Most of these at various venues in ATLANTA (GA), CHATTANOOGA (TN), or at CALHOUN (GA)'s own little "Concerts in the Country" venue. Notice the list starts country (when I was only allowed to attend concerts with my mom & stepdad), but gets much better...

The Righteous Brothers & Kenny Rogers. Alabama. Sawyer Brown (numerous times). Ray Stevens. John Snyder. Larry Gatlin & the Gatlin Brothers. The Beach Boys at Fulton County Stadium (after a Braves game). Chicago at Six Flags.

James Brown, TLC, the Atlanta Rhythm Section, & Dick Clark at a pre-Olympics celebration.

Rush & Mr. Big at the Omni (the night Paul Gilbert got a drill caught in his hair during a typical 80s guitar wank, and they had to cut it out backstage).

The Black Crowes on the last night they opened for ZZ Top, before the latter kicked them off the tour (supposedly for using foul language -- what?! that's what rock n roll is for! -- but more likely because Chris Robinson made mention to the audience about ticket prices being too high).

Lollapalooza II: Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ministry (with cameo by Kirk Hammet), Lush, Ice Cube, Porno for Pyros, House of Pain, Stone Temple Pilots, etc.

Lollapalooza III: Alice in Chains, Fishbone, Primus, Arrested Development, Dinosaur Jr., Rage Against the Machine, Luscious Jackson, Tool, etc.

Lollapalooza IV: Beastie Boys, George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars, L7, The Breeders, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Black Crowes, etc.

Spin Doctors/Soul Asylum/Screaming Trees & Bad Company/Damn Yankees – Lakewood Amphitheatre. Lenny Kravitz & Blind Melon at Chastain Park. Prince at the Fox. Jayhawks & Dramarama at the Roxy for $2.49.

Bob Dylan.

John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers. J.J. Cale. Morphine. All in Little Five Points (Atlanta). The Band – numerous places, among them Market Street Performance Hall. Government Mule at the Sandbar. Drivin n Cryin at the Sandbar. Widespread Panic at the National Guard Armoury. Phish in Nashville with guest appearance by Bela Fleck.


Go west, young man... Most of the following in/around PORTLAND (OR)...

Wilco/John Hiatt/Los Lobos in Pioneer Square (Wilco numerous other times/places). Southern Culture on the Skids. White Stripes at Berbati's. Jayhawks at Music Millenium. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. Neil Young, solo & acoustic at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Kelly Joe Phelps at the Aladdin with Tom Waits' bass player & Morphine's drummer.

Tom Waits in Eugene. Willie Nelson at Clark County Fair. Chris Isaac at Portland Zoo. Jeff Tweedy solo – Aladdin Theatre & Crystal Ballroom.


And then, halfway around the globe -- PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC...

Kackala at Roxy NOD, Marian Varga at Vagon, Hudba Praha and Morcheeba at Lucerna, Jaroslav Hutka at a tiny cafe/pub, Brad Huff all over town, many many times... Niceland (Misha, my former flatmate for six months), Psi Vojaci, and Plastic People of the Universe at Bohnice...


And now I've got a baby, so no concerts for a while. :-)

Bye Bye, Mr. American Ledger

Yes, I know Heath Ledger was Australian, but he seems to me now to have been more "American" than most USA-born celebrities. He was, after all, living in Brooklyn. By choice. When he didn't have to.

I just heard about his death via www... and while I was reading about it, about him (synchronistically, Don McClean's song "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" was playing on my speakers), I realized the most 'tragic' aspect of his loss: he was reported to have been a good father. And now his young daughter, Matilda, will feel the void more than anyone else.

My hat is off to the late Heath Ledger. Pending autopsy will show this or that, rumors and suspicions may or may not be confirmed, some overzealous religious wingnuts will proclaim it as God punishing him for playing a homosexual in Brokeback Mountain, but none of that matters.

What matters is that, even for the two years of her life, Ledger was a good father. And for that he has my respect.

Hippy Holy Daze

Remember that Santa and his Angels are occupying Iraq for our sins.

US Foreign Policy

Enough said.

Being Flogged By Naked Russians

Lonely Planet recently announced the sale of 75% of their company to BBC Worldwide. Most LP readers, according to comments on the Lonely Planet Blog, seem to feel good about the possibilities of this maneuver.

If you subscribe to Lonely Planet's email list, you will sometimes surf your way into culture stories such as "Bathing Naked With Russians" -- which I've excerpted here:

"Russians like to belt each other with venik (birch sticks) while they bathe[...] The moment I felt that first light brush of another's branch on my buttock I was like a terrorised deer[...] They then proceeded to thrash me[...] I don't know if anyone has ever said you haven't really lived until you've been flogged by a naked Russian, but I'm saying it now. Once you get over the alienating culture shock it's quite relaxing."

Kudos to Lonely Planet for, among other things, managing to expand readers' perceptions about other cultures. Some of us may thrive on 'culture shock', but for those who don't, LP provides ample warning.

A Magical Fluke

It's not often that I pay attention to news stories, and less often that I'll recommend one to my regular readers, but the following Reuters story popped up at the top of my gmail inbox, and I'm moved to bring it to your attention.

Reuters story

Original website where the man posted his description

What blows my mind about this is the number of NY city inhabitants (8 million) -- and that the internet made it possible for this guy to find one (1) person with a basic cartoon sketch. There really is magic in the world if you look for it.

Czech Black Humor

Czech & Slovak humor is something I can relate to well, most likely since my dad's grandparents came from this region of Europe. It's a humor that holds nothing back -- nothing sacred -- for if humor can't encounter any hypothetical situation or topic, then what can?

During the summer of 2007, a Czech group known as Ztohoven (think of a modern version of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters) hacked into a morning TV segment in which cameras pan across the country's terrain. What resulted was a fairly realistic rendition of a nuclear bomb going off in some godforsaken village during the breakfast hours.

Immediately, both TV station representatives and other municipal authorities promised justice against these "terror-inciting hackers" (paraphrase). First, read Ztohoven's response, then watch the video footage and judge for yourself how much harm could possibly come of it.



To me, it seems anyone with half a brain could tell this was a prank simply by switching to other channels. Remember 9/11? On every channel. If something like this were real, it too would be on every channel.

Po-Mo Essay Generator

Behold! the Post-Modernism Essay Generator, the secret tool used by thousands of professors working in publish-or-perish institutions.

More than once while doing time at Pepsi State University I realized the 'critical' texts I was reading were absolute schlock... structurally coherent, yes, but that was where it ended. And now I know how those texts were written.

Cool Words

or Aeon Iota

A cool word is abscond, I said
to which Stephen responded with timepiece

Yes, an oxymoronic compound, I wrote
and we thought about this

Yet Another Great Comic

Aptly titled "Found To-Do List"

from toothpastefordinner.com

Types of Relationships

Ever one to question the status quo, I was a year or so ago researching the anthropological history of intimate relationships, as well as the fairly recent (within the last few hundred years) origins of 'romantic love' as we know it, when I stumbled upon this chart somewhere on the web. I saved it then, but forgot to note its source. I looked for it again recently via google image search, but could not find it. Anyway, I think it says plenty about our limited perceptions as to what relationships can, could, and/or should be. If you have questions about any of it, don't ask me - I've no idea what a "delta-triad" or a "tertiary" is, only that they must have existed in some societies and cultures (and probably still do somewhere).

Let us all make 2007 a renaissance for learning and self-study... a new age of enlightenment.

What I Need(ed) For Christmas(17+ Years Ago)

The alarm clock that runs away and hides when you don't wake up. Clocky gives you one chance to get up. But if you snooze, Clocky will jump off of your nightstand and wheel around your room looking for a place to hide. Clocky is kind of like a misbehaving pet, only he will get up at the right time. Read more...

I know, it may sound crazy, but when I was in high school I would set anywhere from 3-5 alarm clocks all around the room - electric, battery, wind-up, it didn't matter... I'd either sleep through them or get up in my sleep and turn them off. Typically, my waking up required my grandma or my sister shaking me until I came to.

To be fair, I wasn't lazy - I simply rarely got sleep. Living on a hobby-farm meant routine phonecalls from neighbors telling us our cows had gotten through our shabby fences and were in the middle of the road... so I'd often get up at 3:30am (or whenever), round up the cows with a flashlight, 'repair' the fence with bailing twine (or wire), and then go back to bed for an hour or two before school.

And my teachers wondered why I slept through classes...

Murrican Haiku

Expat damsels
crochet cuz they have to
- th'accordion's that intense

~written at Globe Bookstore & Cafe, during Pavel Brycz's reading from his book I, City (Twisted Spoon Press).

The Origin of 'Terrorism'

"DON'T EAT THE BIG APPLE," God said to the first humans, and so they cut down the tree that held it, all the other trees around it, and built two towers in its place.

They called these Babel North and Babel South, both majestic and, to them, superior to anything God had made.

And since God saw the humans' hubris, He sent a score of brown dragons to destroy their towers.

Then the terrified humans said, "Surely our God would not do such a thing," and so they waged war on the brown dragons, for they could no longer see the works of their own God.

Quote of the Week

"It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them."

~ Bill Vaughan